Thank you
@KevinCross for starting this thread!
I totally agree for safety's sake with your bullet points! The only caveat I had is maybe instead of locking out the E-key disable totally for shared locks <24H, how about only disabling the feature if the KH is untrusted and the lock<24H? So long as the trust feature is used correctly and to intent then it shouldn't be a problem in my mind.
I'm going to leave a few things here that I have learned after many years in a BDSM lifestyle that I hope may help someone in the future!
Whenever someone inquires about bondage or selfbondage safety I always refer back to the guiding principals I personally (and my play partners) use in BDSM sessions in general. There are 2 acronyms, SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual) and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). While both of these are widely known within the BDSM community I feel they also serve as a good guide for almost any bondage activities whether solo, remote, or in-person.
SSC:
Safe, always ALWAYS have a backup release method! I know this doesn't sound like fun, and it takes some planning, but it is the single most important piece of your bondage gear! Personally, no matter if I am using a bot, a shared lock, or a solo lock (keeping references to the CK app obviously, other bondage methods would require other plans), I always set up a lock with emergency keys enabled (multiple, because sadomasochism), set to a time to open considerably after my expected session would end. For this lock I set the combination to a safe where I put the override keys to all my other safes that I will be using in the session (Note, I have 4 safes). I have the lock set up to require a few keys so it would cost me some $ to get out early, but in an emergency would allow my freedom. A second layer of safety I use is to put the override key for that override safe in my rather expensive vase that sits within reach of my bondage. If I were to need that key i would have to break the vase to access the key in almost all circumstances, so again financial prudence prevents me from getting out early.
Sane In this case, I define sane play as making sure that from my bound position, I can still reach my safe(s)! I have three safes mounted on a shelf, and one not mounted permanently but sitting on the floor, so my locks typically run in stages. Going back to my first point I always make sure the override key can be accessed from the most escalated binding positions for that session, albeit with expensive consequences.
Consensual This is mainly for shared locks as one must make the assumption that if solo playing, all players are consensual
The players, ALL players, must agree before the lock goes active about events that could transpire during the progression of the lock. Violating consent is a huge faux pas in the BDSM world, and the single largest reason for expulsion from clubs, events, parties, etc. Having been a dungeon monitor many times I see this unfortunately all too often. Safewords are different in this remote lock situation I know, but the fact remains that if the person that has been locked truly needs to be let out, it is the responsibility and duty of the lock holder to abide by the rules of consent and let them out.
The concepts of SSC protect both parties equally in my opinion, and they do a great job in making the rules easy to abide. This leaves one other main aspect to discuss regarding a scene in almost any configuration, RACK. RACK in its most basic definition paves the way for discussion for any and all risks involved with a session to the extent that it is known. Taking the definition at face value, know what you're getting into BEFORE you get into it! That goes for all roles too. The lockee has to know what may happen with the lock, their bondage, their safes/mechanisms, their locations, and anything else that may affect them or their session! The locker also has a huge role to play in that they are ultimately in charge of the lockees' safety insofar as they can control it, i.e. be available as the lock runs or make sure the lockee has a way to release themselves or contact you in a true emergency!
I don't mean to scare or inundate with rules and regulations, these guidelines become second nature after a fashion. Remember this is supposed to be fun, and once all the planning is done and the session is agreed upon the fun can begin! I've seen it happen!
Things do happen out of our control and with proper planning and attention to detail those unforeseen circumstances will be easier to handle. Panic is not a good play partner.
I would be happy to provide examples of bondage, SB, or game sessions that have worked for me in the past, so feel free to PM me if you'd be interested in learning. I won't post them publicly since I would not want someone to read it without reading the SSC/RACK guidelines I applied to go along with them. As always I accept no liability if you try any kind of scene or session, too many things are out of my control, and for many other reasons.
I hope this provides a little insight into one way to gain safety, understanding, and fun in scenes but ultimately your safety is yours to control, so control it!
Play safe and often!
N~