Self Bondage Tips & Safety

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Offline KevinCross

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Self Bondage Tips & Safety
« on: August 29, 2018, 10:14:54 AM »
I'm probably not the best person to provide tips as I don't really practice self bondage but most of this is probably common sense:

  • Don't jump on a self bondage lock or a short lock that you're going to use for self bondage until you've spoken to the keyholder and feel that they could be trusted to let you out in an emergency if needed. If you're using a bot for self bondage then you obviously can't talk to them before hand, but you can message me if you run into problems with it. But you will have to understand that I'm not always near a computer.
  • Don't load a lock for bondage where the emergency key is disabled. I'm going to update the app so that emergency keys can't be disabled on a lock if it's set up to run for less than 24 hours. This change may only work on newly created locks though.
  • If you don't want to pay the small emergency key buy out fee then keep a backup key near by, or plan ahead how you're going to get out of it if you're abandoned by your keyholder, or you've loaded it at a time when they might be asleep etc.

I will help where I can but as mentioned above I can't always be at a computer and sometimes you might have to wait a further 20 minutes or more before I can help, depending where I am or where I'm going if I'm travelling.

It stops being fun when you're putting your life at risk.

If anyone else has some useful tips then please mention them below to help newcomers to the app and/or self bondage.
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Offline Naughtia

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Re: Self Bondage Tips & Safety
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2018, 02:39:24 AM »
Thank you @KevinCross for starting this thread!

I totally agree for safety's sake with your bullet points! The only caveat I had is maybe instead of locking out the E-key disable totally for shared locks <24H, how about only disabling the feature if the KH is untrusted and the lock<24H? So long as the trust feature is used correctly and to intent then it shouldn't be a problem in my mind.

I'm going to leave a few things here that I have learned after many years in a BDSM lifestyle that I hope may help someone in the future!

Whenever someone inquires about bondage or selfbondage safety I always refer back to the guiding principals I personally (and my play partners) use in BDSM sessions in general. There are 2 acronyms, SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual) and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). While both of these are widely known within the BDSM community I feel they also serve as a good guide for almost any bondage activities whether solo, remote, or in-person.

SSC:
Safe, always ALWAYS have a backup release method! I know this doesn't sound like fun, and it takes some planning, but it is the single most important piece of your bondage gear! Personally, no matter if I am using a bot, a shared lock, or a solo lock (keeping references to the CK app obviously, other bondage methods would require other plans), I always set up a lock with emergency keys enabled (multiple, because sadomasochism), set to a time to open considerably after my expected session would end. For this lock I set the combination to a safe where I put the override keys to all my other safes that I will be using in the session (Note, I have 4 safes). I have the lock set up to require a few keys so it would cost me some $ to get out early, but in an emergency would allow my freedom. A second layer of safety I use is to put the override key for that override safe in my rather expensive vase that sits within reach of my bondage. If I were to need that key i would have to break the vase to access the key in almost all circumstances, so again financial prudence prevents me from getting out early.

Sane In this case, I define sane play as making sure that from my bound position, I can still reach my safe(s)! I have three safes mounted on a shelf, and one not mounted permanently but sitting on the floor, so my locks typically run in stages. Going back to my first point I always make sure the override key can be accessed from the most escalated binding positions for that session, albeit with expensive consequences.

Consensual This is mainly for shared locks as one must make the assumption that if solo playing, all players are consensual :) The players, ALL players, must agree before the lock goes active about events that could transpire during the progression of the lock. Violating consent is a huge faux pas in the BDSM world, and the single largest reason for expulsion from clubs, events, parties, etc. Having been a dungeon monitor many times I see this unfortunately all too often. Safewords are different in this remote lock situation I know, but the fact remains that if the person that has been locked truly needs to be let out, it is the responsibility and duty of the lock holder to abide by the rules of consent and let them out.

The concepts of SSC protect both parties equally in my opinion, and they do a great job in making the rules easy to abide. This leaves one other main aspect to discuss regarding a scene in almost any configuration, RACK. RACK in its most basic definition paves the way for discussion for any and all risks involved with a session to the extent that it is known. Taking the definition at face value, know what you're getting into BEFORE you get into it! That goes for all roles too. The lockee has to know what may happen with the lock, their bondage, their safes/mechanisms, their locations, and anything else that may affect them or their session! The locker also has a huge role to play in that they are ultimately in charge of the lockees' safety insofar as they can control it, i.e. be available as the lock runs or make sure the lockee has a way to release themselves or contact you in a true emergency!

I don't mean to scare or inundate with rules and regulations, these guidelines become second nature after a fashion. Remember this is supposed to be fun, and once all the planning is done and the session is agreed upon the fun can begin! I've seen it happen! :) Things do happen out of our control and with proper planning and attention to detail those unforeseen circumstances will be easier to handle. Panic is not a good play partner.

I would be happy to provide examples of bondage, SB, or game sessions that have worked for me in the past, so feel free to PM me if you'd be interested in learning. I won't post them publicly since I would not want someone to read it without reading the SSC/RACK guidelines I applied to go along with them. As always I accept no liability if you try any kind of scene or session, too many things are out of my control, and for many other reasons.

I hope this provides a little insight into one way to gain safety, understanding, and fun in scenes but ultimately your safety is yours to control, so control it! 

Play safe and often!

N~

I'm just a fun girl to be around! :-)




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Offline KevinCross

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Re: Self Bondage Tips & Safety
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2018, 08:02:00 AM »
Thank you for sharing @Naughtia I knew there would be people here with more experience in the area and could offer better tips.

You've got a pretty impressive and planned out set up with 4 safes and a vase.

I'll have a look at seeing what's the best way to enable the key for shorter locks, this was mainly for shared locks. I could change it so that the keyholder can disable keys on any locks regardless of the length (like they can now) but it will only be disabled on locks where the lockee says they trust them.

On your own solo sessions you can still disable the keys.
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Offline KevinCross

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Re: Self Bondage Tips & Safety
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2018, 11:03:50 AM »
Wanted to add two more which I can definitely see would cause problems

  • Turn off auto updates in the Play Store for the ChastiKey app. I'm not sure if you can turn off auto updates for specific apps on iOS. Why? The last thing you want is for the app to update while you're locked and the update causes a problem with the lock that's running. For chastity users that's not as big of a problem as you can contact me and I can help but depending on your self bondage setup that might not be as easy for you to do.
  • Do not sign up for beta tests, especially if you do a lot of self bondage, and for the same reason as above. You won't want to update the app or have it automatically updated while a self bondage lock is running in case the update wipes the lock from your list. I do test to make sure locks are compatible between versions but things are missed, like the problems with the fixed locks in the latest beta version (v2.4.0 beta 1).
Developer of ChastiKey - The timed keyholder for your chastity device (Available on Google Play and App Store)

ChastiKey.com | Twitter | Facebook | Discord Chat | FetLife Fan Page*

Want to sign up for beta testing?: Android | iOS

*FetLife fan page is not managed by me.

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Offline Naughtia

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Re: Self Bondage Tips & Safety
« Reply #4 on: September 29, 2018, 12:44:39 PM »
One more thing I've noticed, and I've posted a couple of times about this in other threads, is that one should avoid putting reset cards in the deck and/or avoid locks using reset cards for SB. In my case, sleeping bound doesn't allow me to turn cards quite so often so if I've banked cumulative chances hitting a reset when I revisit the app could put me in bondage far longer than anticipated. Of course for non-cumulative locks or in situations where you'll be accessing the app at every chance it's not a problem, but I wanted to bring it up here so it would be on the mind of potential players. If I want the chance of being in longer I use the double-up card or the freeze cards, those don't wipe potential chances and a max time is a little easier to determine. If I were to experience the reset wipe and go too long my backup would have been activated so no worries, but then again I'm not a huge fan of relying on a backup as a primary method. Just something to think about!

N~
I'm just a fun girl to be around! :-)