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91
Request / Share / Exchange ChastiKey Locks / Re: Dare You?
« Last post by EchtesLeder on December 16, 2021, 01:20:37 AM »
One month in now <3 Sort of just going through card after card with a very slight chance of getting out. Kind of feel like Master Echtesleder is ignoring me on purpose to get my frustrations up.
Those of you who are unfortunate enough to be still locked up on Christmas Day will be getting a special present from me
92
General Chat / Re: Why do men like to be caged; to help a wife understand?
« Last post by bdsm on December 15, 2021, 12:58:08 PM »
Relationships are about give'n'take; about accomodation, compromise.

So re cross-dressing.  This may be something that Subby has to "give".  But could there be a slight middle ground?  Would you be OK with him wearing knickers instead of underpants?  For me, part of the thrill of cross-dressing is "what if someone who knows me sees me; I'd be humiliated". So wearing knickers can get part of the way there.  This may be a way of scratching that itch without it being in your face.  Push it a little further; stockings instead of socks?  At least while he's out of the house (work, errands, whatever...).

You may even be able to frame it, mentally, as an extra way of giving you more control; if you throw away all his underpants (or lock them up in a box) then you're controlling his clothing.

Re ED.  I don't have a lot of experience here 'cos I've never found penis-in-vagina (PIV) sex that interesting so the lack of penetrative sex hasn't bothered me too much and my Mistress has had plenty of fun having me tied up next to her, pulling on my nipple clamps while playing with her Hitachi Magic Wand.  But I've heard of other couples using a strap-on as a substitute.  You can even get kits where a mold can be taken of his penis and that used to create the dildo.  He can then wear that (over his cage, if necessary!).  It's not the same, and requires a bit of fantasy in both your heads, but some people have reported success.  You can then joke that you own both his dicks :-)

Just some thoughts!
93
General Chat / Re: Why do men like to be caged; to help a wife understand?
« Last post by dominiquerichards81 on December 15, 2021, 09:28:03 AM »
Hello to all the wonderful people on Chastikey,
I am starting this posting with an acknowledgement to the beautiful members that have shared their thoughts and helped me to understand my Hubby, and also myself.
When I started this chat, the purpose was for me to understand why my hubby felt the need to have his junk locked away, for me to both know that he was locked and to be his KH.  Your thoughts and views have been so helpful with this and I love that so many of you are willing to share: you have been so brave!  I find that all of your comments enable me to think more broadly, both about my husbands needs and also mine.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul.  XX
Two years into our journey, and over a year of your support, I find that posting our journey has a profound effect upon me.  It enables me to connect more deeply with my Hubby and his alter ego, Subby.  It also gets my creative juices flowing to create new scenarios for us to have fun in:-)  I know that Subby gets very nervous as I type on my laptop, and so he should be;-)  However, these conversations have taken our passion for one another, further than it has been for a very long time.
I am quite a straight forward person: black or white, just get on with it, no talking about it, make a decision and stick with it.  Hubby is a talker and fantasist, he gets as much pleasure from exploring thoughts and ideas as I do with the act.
This is who I am and who he is but for a relationship to grow, one has to also grow to meet the other person half way.  I am proud of the openness between me and my wonderful husband, that has come about since the bravery that he showed in revealing his chastity needs: is like breathing fresh air for the first time.  That said, the constant talking can be very annoying to me and we need to work up a balance on 'lets just do it'.
As mentioned previously, Hubby suffers from ED.  This is a massive barrier both to his confidence as a male and to me as a fulfilled woman.  Neither he nor I know to what degree of impact that ED has had on getting us to where we are now, and don't get me wrong, we are in a good place, but we both feel that there is a better place yet to come.  Fortunately we have the amazing NHS and Hubby has been lucky enough to get support from a psychosexual therapist.  We did use one nearly 20 years ago, when he first revealed to me his cross-dressing, but 'specialist' was not good at their job and instead of enabling us to understand and accept, it made Hubby feel guilty about his needs and did little to enable me to accept them or to overcome the stigma that I have towards transvestitism.  Note: I am not judgemental of TVs or any gender choices, I just find it very hard to cope with the image of my masculine Hubby in a dress; I can't imagine ever wanting to see him dressed as so.
One advantage of Hubby now talking to a professional is he doesn't feel the need to 'go around the houses' with me when he is trying to frame his thoughts.  Hopefully, and the therapist is confident about this, his issues with ED will also be resolved.  I won't deny it, I am scared about what the resolutions for him might be.  We have been together for 30 years and if he gets to a conclusion where we both discover that neither one of us can meet each others needs, then that will be devastating.  However, we both know that we have but one life and happiness has to be the goal, right?
I welcome your thoughts and experiences on the above.  I need to prepare for the emotional rollercoaster that I suspect that we have both climbed onto, though I could be straying into Hubby's domain and over thinking it!?
Kindest regards,
Mistress D xxx
94
Request / Share / Exchange ChastiKey Locks / Re: 24 hour(ish) lock
« Last post by Jeri_Shea on December 14, 2021, 07:45:13 AM »
5 Stars
95
Request / Share / Exchange ChastiKey Locks / Re: 24 hour(ish) lock
« Last post by Jeri_Shea on December 13, 2021, 11:34:32 AM »
Got a new CB after being free for too long. Got a bit over-excited and loaded this one pretty quick. Guess I'll see how it goes. Good to be locked away where I belong, one wway or the other. Hope the CB is comfy.
96
General Chat / Re: Awesome Game to Win Free Chastity Keyholding Reward
« Last post by Jeri_Shea on December 13, 2021, 11:17:52 AM »
So I understand, because I frequently get things wrong. It is $20 to attempt to guess the constellation, NOT $20 if you win the game. Correct?
97
General Chat / Re: New to being a keyholder
« Last post by dominiquerichards81 on December 13, 2021, 09:51:25 AM »
Hello odslutpuppy!,
So good to hear from you!  i hope that you are well?  Yes, we are both on the road to recovery: thank god, and the amazing scientists, for AstraZeneca and Pfizer!  We have both been incredibly lucky.  Apart from me getting very tired by the end of each day and Hubby says that everything tastes like plastic, we appear to have come of lightly.
Thank you for your comments on the last posting.  I really enjoyed writing this episode of our story; reliving the experience on 'paper' reminds me of how much passion we have and also gets my imagination going...poor Subby:-)  Don't be too sympathetic of the silly man, he teases me on a daily basis and encourages the kids too!  A tanned backside is the very least that he deserves;-)
As I am sure you are aware, ChastiKey now has a limited life:-(  Hubby and I have grown through the trusted members of the site and I really enjoy posting on it.  Can you recommend another similarly safe and trustworthy site which I can continue to use?  The writing I do and the feedback from the wonderful ChastiKey members, has helped in so many ways and I want to continue even after it closes.
Kindest regards,
Mistress D xxx
98
General Chat / Re: Why do men like to be caged; to help a wife understand?
« Last post by dominiquerichards81 on December 13, 2021, 09:37:55 AM »
Hello Devious1sworld,
Thank you for taking the time to reply.  I agree for sure with the first point.  Hubby has always had issues with ED and so 'love making', if it can be called that, was always focussing upon him getting hard, staying hard and coming.  Fine if you are making babies, not much fun if you are looking for intimacy.  And, of cause, once the deed was done, his interest in me would stop and I was the one left being frustrated.  Can you believe that I accepted that for years!  Now his arse would be red-raw if that ever happened;-)
I am glad that you have found the benefits of being caged, in terms of pleasing your partner first and, possibly, only pleasing them.  Without doubt, since my Hubby has followed the path of chastity he is way more relaxed in bed, is able to concentrate of fulfilling me and, most importantly, we have learned to communicate.  The latter started with me telling him how to be more attentive, which was very weird as, when not in work, telling people what I want is not my default by any level of interpretation.  Therefore I have also grown as a person, both in confidence but also laying bare my feelings and needs.  That takes a tremendous level of trust and I can imagine that people early on into a relationship or about to reveal that they want to experiment with chastity, will find that threatening and risky.  For Hubby and me, it has cemented our marriage and I know that my darling husband listens far more deeply to me.
For him, it has been a kind of 'coming out of the closet' experience, if only to me.  For years I was convinced that he was gay and when he revealed to me some years ago that he cross dressed, well I felt lied to and betrayed.  Now that he is so often caged, his honesty and sharing of desires come out without hesitation.  As Subby put it: "Being caged, I have nothing to hide".  Some of his desires are very alien to me, some I had never heard of and others have been incredibly rewarding for both of us.  We chose the conversation answers of "Never", "Not yet" and "Ok, lets give it a go".  This has removed any ambiguity and false hopes.  Knowing where we both stand helps to get to the pleasure points much faster.
We think chastity has been the best thing to have happened in our relationship and, unlike other things we have tried, it hasn't teetered off or shown any signs of getting boring.  Hubby is very creative and so keeping his brain activated is the key to a passionate relationship.  I'm more vanilla which certainly helps as he can't use his caged manhood and instead uses other parts of his body to maximum effect; plus these parts don't go limp as things get interesting;-)
Whilst he is caged, and usually from a week in, his brain is flooded with hormones and he is like having a teenager again.  Bloody exhausting sometimes but then telling him "No, not tonight" only frustrates him and heightens the experience for him so, a win-win I suppose.  I had not realised how impish I could be and learning to so 'no', which usually results in sad puppy-dog eyes, is so funny.  Clearly, learning to be a Domme is also teaching me things about myself too :-)
Thank you Devious1sworld for responding and getting my brain thinking again.  As with the other wonderful readers that have shared their thoughts, each comment makes me understand just a little better Why Do Men Like to be Caged.  In addition to this is the big bonus of, I get new stimulus on how to tease my poor Hubby just that little more.  For example, you have reminded me of 'spoiled orgasms' and that this is something that he is well overdue to receive.  He-he;-)
Thank you darling,
Mistress Dominique xxx
99
General Chat / Re: Why do men like to be caged; to help a wife understand?
« Last post by Devious1sworld on December 13, 2021, 08:38:38 AM »
For me as a male who enjoys being caged/locked, I see it as a more powerful orgasm for 1 and more importantly it makes us focus more on our partners pleasure above ours. Most women usually last a bit longer than most males. In many cases once males are finished the fun is done. Hope this helps.
100
General Chat / Re: New to being a keyholder
« Last post by odslutpuppy on December 12, 2021, 11:08:54 PM »
WOW indeed, Mistress Dominique!

Thank you for sharing the rest of the story. You write with such feeling that it's almost like being there (but without the pain poor Subby endured).

So nice to hear how well a re-connection can go. 😁😁

On a side note - hope you both are recovering and feeling better these days.
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