Hello Odslutpuppy,
Good to hear from you again.
It always helps to hear from others 'in the know', regarding chastity and everything that goes with it.  The FLR that Hubby has asked for is so far removed from our day-to-day life with our day-to-day friends: it is sometimes hard to know what is 'right', what is 'wrong' and, when I am being too 'kind' to my Subby.  Your thoughts always help me to reflect on this and to stop thinking too much.  Return to basics "Mistress D, Subby works hard, you simply direct!" Or something along those lines.
I think that your wife is clearly a wonderful person but I do hope that she reminds you of that by taking your sexy underwear away too, I would hate to think that you are missing out on the necessity of punishment too!  he-he;-)
I agree with you, humans can become desensitised to many things, like you say, "Look at TV".  The mind is an amazing thing also, and I think the trials of work for the last couple of months has taken our intimacy away and it is that, an active mind, which makes all of the physical experiences enjoyable.  Making it fun is also important and the bloomers ideas will be funny, especially for me.  Can you imagine the humiliation Subby will get going to the gym in frilly shorts or a chafing thong that just pokes out of the top of his leggings;-)
Anyway, thank you O'
Take care and continue to worship your wife.
Mistress D xxx

Hello Chastikey et al,
I entitle this story as “7 gifts of Valentines - Part 1”
Hubby and I feel privileged.  Yes, we work very long hours, have had many knock backs over the years and have had to work as a team to get everything that we have.  Do we want more?  Yes!  Not material things, what we want is a deep, dark, red and a passionate life.  For the last two years we have been getting there, exploring chastity and everything that goes with that.  Material items pale into insignificance when you have chastity in your lives.
For the most recent valentines, we wanted to avoid the commercial motivation and instead move towards the darker aspects of our desires and just use the date as a focus.  We agreed that the 14th would just be a date in the middle of a fortnight of fun, pain and discipline.  True to tradition, “Ladies go first” and since Subby is the biggest lady in our relationship, he started the fortnight.
Hubby tried his best, a dozen beautiful roses on Valentines-7, chocolates V-6, lingerie and so forth.  I will admit, he has good taste and the heels he bought me on Valentine’s day were particularly sexy, extenuating my ankles and firm calves.  They also feel amazing!  Subby’s reward each evening was whether he had permission to pleasure me, would have to watch me pleasure myself or was cuffed to a horrid wooden stool, only able to hear me.  The stool is something that I found in a skip whilst we were out walking and clearly has had a tough existence: one of the legs is unstable, the seat is missing a strip of wood so uncomfortable on a bare bum and the lack of a backrest makes access to his bare back, complete.
“Subby, do you like the lingerie that you bought me.” I asked whilst he was balancing on the stool and I hovered behind him.  “Yes, Mistress and they look amazing on you!”
“Hmmm, but who are they really for, my slave?”  I whispered this into his ear and quietly backed away.  God, the panties felt amazing and the bra gave me a cleavage that I did not know I owned!  I don’t normally get very excited by lingerie, too much a ‘sterotype’ sort of thing imposed on women by society.  Give me PJs and no bra any day of the week!
“Sorry Mistress, I don’t understand?”  Perfect answer! Swish, crack and yelp!  The cane left a red welt across his shoulders.  I waited for the pain to sink in, realisation to dawn on his mind and then 3 more swings, the last two across the bulge of his bum resting on the stool.  He nearly fell over at this point but recovered just in time.
“Who was this lingerie set really for, slut!”
“Honestly Mistress, I have not worn them!”
“Oh, I know.  Your slovenly body wouldn’t squeeze into them.”  I hissed with mirth.  “No, but think, who is getting the most satisfaction from me wearing them, you or me?” 
“Oh, sorry Mistress, me.”
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!” And each affirmation was followed with a swing of the cane.  His back was glowing and Subby was panting.  As I moved around him, leaning over so that he got an eyeful of my beautifully cupped breasts, I could see that he had tears in his eyes.  Did I feel guilty?  Of cause not, the little slut had pre-come dribbling from his cock and was getting off on this as much as I was.
“So, you have once again thought of yourself first.  When are you going to learn that your thoughts should be about serving me and not what makes you feel horny?”
“Mistress…”
“Oh shut up!” Grabbing a gag, I silenced him.  Satisfied that the cock shaped mouthpiece would both mean he was humiliated and was unable to do anything other than gurgle.
What I did then, in front of him and completely oblivious of whether he could see or not drove him mad.  Panting, I looked up as my body was starting to come down from an incredible high and could see that he was hard and desperate to break his bonds.
“You are still enjoying this!  Spread your legs!”  I picked up the crop, which is never far away these days.  Stroking his groin, it only made him harder and I could see the tension in his eyes.  Three hard hits across his circumcised cock caused to deflating end to that.  This ‘treatment’ was new to him and he was clearly shocked.  “I am going to shower, stay here.”  Not that he could go anywhere, he-he.
When I returned, his manhood had shrunken down to a pathetic stump.  Wrapped in a dressing gown I pulled on a pair of marigolds.  “You look pathetic and I don’t even want to touch that lump of flesh with my bare hands.”  The pre-come was useful now as I pushed his junk through the ring of his cage and locked him up.
I removed the gag, admiring the red marks that it had left across his cheeks and neck.  “I acknowledge that you have worked hard to please me for the last 7 days, and even though the lingerie was born out of a selfish act, they clearly show that your feminine side is being trained well. Tomorrow I will start to reward you.  Remember, what I do for you will solely be focussed on what you need slut and are not for me, do you understand?”
“Yes Mistress, thank you Mistress.  I am here to serve you!”
“Yes, you are.”
The next day I was with Hubby again.  We both love the openness of our relationship after a ‘session’ as there is no sexual tension, just companionship.  Though we had to work, the breakfast and evening were cuddles and chats.
“Ok dear, it is shower time.  Would you like to go first?  I have put a towel out for you.”  My eyes made it clear to him that this was a non-negotiable. 
What Hubby found was a fresh towel wrapped around a new razor, a bottle of Veet and a note which read “From your neck down, all hair must go.  If you want to wear woman’s clothing then you are going to feel like one.  It is your turn to know what it takes to appease social conformity and expectations.”
I personally hate the smell of Veet but the benefits are superior to a razor and certainly last longer.  Hopefully my Subby read the instructions with the Veet and uses the razor on key areas of his body, because if he doesn’t, it won’t just be hair that he removes!
I am pleased to say that the result was excellent.  Seeing him stood naked, totally void of hair, other than for a few hard to reach places, was wonderful.  I’m not a fan of a ‘manly and hairy chest’. Hubby is/was and certainly looked embarrassed as I inspected him, razor in hand rectifying patches that he had missed.
“Photo time”
“What! Mistress please?” 
“Hahaha!  This is only day one of my gifts.  You do like it though?  Feel it, this is much better, don’t you agree?”
As he stroked his body, I could see that he had mixed feelings, one of joy and another of shame.  How was he going to keep this hidden?  What if somebody asks questions when he goes to the gym?  Well, that is his problem!
Mistress Dominique xxx

Hello Odslutpuppy,

So good to hear from you and, if I have not already done so, 'Happy New Year'! 

Yes, you are certainly meaner than me, but that is what I love about you.  That said, I will take on board your points when I next go away: it will keep Subby on his toes to be treated harshly without explanation or rewards.  Poor soul:-)

Regarding "...that conversation"  in one sense i would love to have my bestie in the know, but as much as I love her, she is not very discreet, certainly when the gin is out.  It would be fun as she already gives Hubby a hard time about everything as it is, but once that box is open there is no going back.  Still, things change and who knows what will happen in the future.  I certainly find myself treating Hubby differently and instinctively so.  Observant people have probably already guessed.  It would be fun to know whether there are any other husbands being trained but I suspect not.

I hope you enjoy the gag in the second instalment of my girly weekend away as I am quite proud of my inventiveness.

Stay safe,

Mistress D xxx

Hello Chastikey et al,
I entitle this story as “A ladies weekend end away, a sissy’s weekend in servitude.”
As I write this, I am snuggled up in bed with a cup of tea.  After a night of dancing and singing, my feet are pleasingly tired and my voice slightly husky, perhaps even a bit sexy too😉 I am in no rush to use either so am taking this time to write a posting for you.
I recently asked you, the readers, for your views, via a poll, on what I should do with Subby whilst I am away on a ladies break from the demands of needy husbands, oh, and kids.  The latter are a very distant second to husbands, who are just big kids but are way more capable with getting themselves into trouble. Men!  Anyway, I am sad to say that the poll didn’t throw up any suggestions and therefore I was left to make the decision: this is proving to be much tougher on Hubby that perhaps it would have been with your help, he-he.  I hope you enjoy the story.
I made my own decision which was option 1: “Leave him caged and explain that he will be given a treat upon my return, provided he doesn't cheat.” Subby knew that I had posted the poll and this is how Friday ended:
“Right then darling, I am packed and ready to go, have you checked my car?”
“Yes beautiful, all fluids and so forth.” He paused and I could see that he wanted to ask something but was worried about my response.
“Yes, what do you need to ask?”
“Well, I have tried really hard this month, I was wondering whether I would be allowed to be uncaged?”
“You know that I asked the Readers for their views?” A worried nod and just a little more fear in his eyes.  “Well, the votes are in and I have taken them into consideration.  Of cause, you understand that I will make the final decision, don’t you?” Again, another nod. “Do you understand!”
“Yes Mistress.  Please, be kind Mistress, what is the decision?”  Now frustration and fear: what word describes that best...?
“Before I tell you, know that this decision is only because you have been so honest and attentive this month.  It will be very rewarding for you.”  A rapid nod and now excitement from the innocent puppy dog.  I was loving this: a weekend away and total domination of my husband, sooooo sweet! 😊  “You will remain caged but…”
“What! But Mistress, you said…please, I am so horny I am about to explode! I…”
“Do not interrupt!” I said sternly, cutting him off mid-sentence.  “I said that the decision would be rewarding, and when you let me finish, you will understand why.”  Shoulders slumped and resignation setting in, I had his attention again.  “You will remain caged for the weekend and provided you can keep your hands off your junk, including your prostate, then you will have an amazing treat when I return.”
Now pouting, “What will that be?”
“You will have to trust me on that but I promise that you will like it…as long as you follow the rules.  Oh, and that other thing, keep your hands off my clothes!  I have put something on your pillow.  You may wear that and any of your clothers”  As I said this I took my car keys from his hand and started playing with a particular key: this attention to detail did not escape Subby.  “Right, I am leaving now.  My bags?”
With a resigned intake of breath, Subby kissed me on the cheek and followed me to the car with my bags, which he carefully put into the boot.  “I will be in touch when I arrive.  I will also be sending you something so check your phone regularly.  Do you understand?”
“Yes Mistress.  Safe journey and I look forward to hearing from you.  I will be good, I promise.”
“Oh, I know that.  Otherwise it is a second month in metal.”  My smile was like honey.
My journey was uneventful.  After picking up my bestie, we chatted non-stop.  Mostly she was moaning about her husband and what state her house would be in when she returned.  “How do you stop your husband from destroying your house!”
“Oh, you know, training, lots and lots of training.”  Both of us laughed at that one.  If only she knew what she was missing out on but how on earth would that conversation happen?
Upon my arrival and when I was settled into my room with a glass of prosecco by my side, I sent my first text of the weekend.
“Hello darling, arrived safe.  Lots of chat about husbands along the way (that would get him thinking).  Did you see the list of rules and tasks on your pillow?  Are you wearing the clothes?  Send me your views and rating: 5 is high.”  I bet he was gulping at this point.  I am sure that he was very aware of his cage too!
He-he…more to follow upon my return this evening. 😊
Yours, and feeling slightly smug,
Mistress Dominique xxx

Hello odslutpuppy,
Yes, Christmas has been wonderful with lots of family time though new year is always a bit of a damper for us: "What else will mankind do to screw things up".  If only mankind could be caged and put into submission eh? ;-)
Thank you for sharing your views on the matter of 'contracts'.  Hearing a different perspective on the matter definitely helps me to think about this less judgementally or with concern.
Your comment about "Leaving the control to another with no responsibility..." certainly resonates with Hubby's character type.  I have seen him with a group of new people, frozen with what to say, until he is invited into the conversation and then you can't shut him up!  In terms of our relationship, he works so hard with 'making the right decision' to please me, he ends up annoying the heck out of me:-(  Perhaps when he is in subordinate character, then judgement is only of 'Subby' and not Hubby.  Interesting.
Men are not supposed to be so complicated, rumour is, women have the monopoly of that! ;-)
And "Shhhhhhh" about a "good one here", I don't want Subby getting too full of himself.  Mind you, an opportunity to discipline that out of him could be fun, he-he.
On the matter of discipliner, we have just returned from a couple of days away from home and children, so I have a fun story to share on that.  Up until we had gone away, Hubby was approaching day 28 of being caged, the  longest for him so far, and he presumed that the trip away might see some kind of reprise.  Well, following the sharing of the 'contract' with me, Subby got exactly what he asked for.  Stealing your legend "Be careful what you wish for...you just may get it and not in the way you expected."  More to follow once I've got over a stinking cold.
Take care  odslutpuppy and I wish you the very best for 2022!
Mistress D xx

Hello bdsm,

Thank you for your thoughts, as always I now have a valuable and different perspective about the points I mentioned.

I suppose my greatest problem with the cross-dressing was being lied to and the secrecy that Hubby had with it.  Understandable, he was scared, but relationships are based on trust.  Your suggestions are more in the realm of 'privacy' than 'secrecy' and there isn't a great distance between tight male pants/trousers and ladies panties/stockings.

There is no rush on my part and the longer he has an 'itch' that can't be scratched, the more his frustrations might benefit to me;-) Possibly that sounds a little callous?

Regarding the ED, PIV has only occasionally been a great part of our relationship so perhaps I will take a leaf out your Mistress' book and charge up the wand!

Have a safe and wonderful Christmas,

Mistress D xx

Hello to all the wonderful people on Chastikey,
I am starting this posting with an acknowledgement to the beautiful members that have shared their thoughts and helped me to understand my Hubby, and also myself.
When I started this chat, the purpose was for me to understand why my hubby felt the need to have his junk locked away, for me to both know that he was locked and to be his KH.  Your thoughts and views have been so helpful with this and I love that so many of you are willing to share: you have been so brave!  I find that all of your comments enable me to think more broadly, both about my husbands needs and also mine.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul.  XX
Two years into our journey, and over a year of your support, I find that posting our journey has a profound effect upon me.  It enables me to connect more deeply with my Hubby and his alter ego, Subby.  It also gets my creative juices flowing to create new scenarios for us to have fun in:-)  I know that Subby gets very nervous as I type on my laptop, and so he should be;-)  However, these conversations have taken our passion for one another, further than it has been for a very long time.
I am quite a straight forward person: black or white, just get on with it, no talking about it, make a decision and stick with it.  Hubby is a talker and fantasist, he gets as much pleasure from exploring thoughts and ideas as I do with the act.
This is who I am and who he is but for a relationship to grow, one has to also grow to meet the other person half way.  I am proud of the openness between me and my wonderful husband, that has come about since the bravery that he showed in revealing his chastity needs: is like breathing fresh air for the first time.  That said, the constant talking can be very annoying to me and we need to work up a balance on 'lets just do it'.
As mentioned previously, Hubby suffers from ED.  This is a massive barrier both to his confidence as a male and to me as a fulfilled woman.  Neither he nor I know to what degree of impact that ED has had on getting us to where we are now, and don't get me wrong, we are in a good place, but we both feel that there is a better place yet to come.  Fortunately we have the amazing NHS and Hubby has been lucky enough to get support from a psychosexual therapist.  We did use one nearly 20 years ago, when he first revealed to me his cross-dressing, but 'specialist' was not good at their job and instead of enabling us to understand and accept, it made Hubby feel guilty about his needs and did little to enable me to accept them or to overcome the stigma that I have towards transvestitism.  Note: I am not judgemental of TVs or any gender choices, I just find it very hard to cope with the image of my masculine Hubby in a dress; I can't imagine ever wanting to see him dressed as so.
One advantage of Hubby now talking to a professional is he doesn't feel the need to 'go around the houses' with me when he is trying to frame his thoughts.  Hopefully, and the therapist is confident about this, his issues with ED will also be resolved.  I won't deny it, I am scared about what the resolutions for him might be.  We have been together for 30 years and if he gets to a conclusion where we both discover that neither one of us can meet each others needs, then that will be devastating.  However, we both know that we have but one life and happiness has to be the goal, right?
I welcome your thoughts and experiences on the above.  I need to prepare for the emotional rollercoaster that I suspect that we have both climbed onto, though I could be straying into Hubby's domain and over thinking it!?
Kindest regards,
Mistress D xxx

Hello Devious1sworld,
Thank you for taking the time to reply.  I agree for sure with the first point.  Hubby has always had issues with ED and so 'love making', if it can be called that, was always focussing upon him getting hard, staying hard and coming.  Fine if you are making babies, not much fun if you are looking for intimacy.  And, of cause, once the deed was done, his interest in me would stop and I was the one left being frustrated.  Can you believe that I accepted that for years!  Now his arse would be red-raw if that ever happened;-)
I am glad that you have found the benefits of being caged, in terms of pleasing your partner first and, possibly, only pleasing them.  Without doubt, since my Hubby has followed the path of chastity he is way more relaxed in bed, is able to concentrate of fulfilling me and, most importantly, we have learned to communicate.  The latter started with me telling him how to be more attentive, which was very weird as, when not in work, telling people what I want is not my default by any level of interpretation.  Therefore I have also grown as a person, both in confidence but also laying bare my feelings and needs.  That takes a tremendous level of trust and I can imagine that people early on into a relationship or about to reveal that they want to experiment with chastity, will find that threatening and risky.  For Hubby and me, it has cemented our marriage and I know that my darling husband listens far more deeply to me.
For him, it has been a kind of 'coming out of the closet' experience, if only to me.  For years I was convinced that he was gay and when he revealed to me some years ago that he cross dressed, well I felt lied to and betrayed.  Now that he is so often caged, his honesty and sharing of desires come out without hesitation.  As Subby put it: "Being caged, I have nothing to hide".  Some of his desires are very alien to me, some I had never heard of and others have been incredibly rewarding for both of us.  We chose the conversation answers of "Never", "Not yet" and "Ok, lets give it a go".  This has removed any ambiguity and false hopes.  Knowing where we both stand helps to get to the pleasure points much faster.
We think chastity has been the best thing to have happened in our relationship and, unlike other things we have tried, it hasn't teetered off or shown any signs of getting boring.  Hubby is very creative and so keeping his brain activated is the key to a passionate relationship.  I'm more vanilla which certainly helps as he can't use his caged manhood and instead uses other parts of his body to maximum effect; plus these parts don't go limp as things get interesting;-)
Whilst he is caged, and usually from a week in, his brain is flooded with hormones and he is like having a teenager again.  Bloody exhausting sometimes but then telling him "No, not tonight" only frustrates him and heightens the experience for him so, a win-win I suppose.  I had not realised how impish I could be and learning to so 'no', which usually results in sad puppy-dog eyes, is so funny.  Clearly, learning to be a Domme is also teaching me things about myself too :-)
Thank you Devious1sworld for responding and getting my brain thinking again.  As with the other wonderful readers that have shared their thoughts, each comment makes me understand just a little better Why Do Men Like to be Caged.  In addition to this is the big bonus of, I get new stimulus on how to tease my poor Hubby just that little more.  For example, you have reminded me of 'spoiled orgasms' and that this is something that he is well overdue to receive.  He-he;-)
Thank you darling,
Mistress Dominique xxx