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Messages - dominiquerichards81

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General Chat / Re: Why do men like to be caged; to help a wife understand?
« on: February 21, 2022, 11:47:15 AM »
Hello Odslutpuppy,
Good to hear from you again.
It always helps to hear from others 'in the know', regarding chastity and everything that goes with it.  The FLR that Hubby has asked for is so far removed from our day-to-day life with our day-to-day friends: it is sometimes hard to know what is 'right', what is 'wrong' and, when I am being too 'kind' to my Subby.  Your thoughts always help me to reflect on this and to stop thinking too much.  Return to basics "Mistress D, Subby works hard, you simply direct!" Or something along those lines.
I think that your wife is clearly a wonderful person but I do hope that she reminds you of that by taking your sexy underwear away too, I would hate to think that you are missing out on the necessity of punishment too!  he-he;-)
I agree with you, humans can become desensitised to many things, like you say, "Look at TV".  The mind is an amazing thing also, and I think the trials of work for the last couple of months has taken our intimacy away and it is that, an active mind, which makes all of the physical experiences enjoyable.  Making it fun is also important and the bloomers ideas will be funny, especially for me.  Can you imagine the humiliation Subby will get going to the gym in frilly shorts or a chafing thong that just pokes out of the top of his leggings;-)
Anyway, thank you O'
Take care and continue to worship your wife.
Mistress D xxx

General Chat / Re: New to being a keyholder
« on: February 20, 2022, 01:19:40 PM »
Hello Chastikey et al,
I entitle this story as “7 gifts of Valentines - Part 2”
The next morning, I was woken to a gasp from Hubby from the ensuite.  I stretched languidly after a very relaxing sleep, giggling to myself as I remembered what had been Day 1 of Subby’s introduction to what a ‘conditioned Valentine’s woman’ is expected to be.  I did think that I would ignore him and snooze for a little longer but I was intrigued and my brain won’t switch off once it is intrigued; plus I knew that he would be fussing over whatever it was that he had discovered in the bathroom for the rest of the morning.  Hmmm, that might be something to refer to this evening😉
“Morning dear, everything ok?”
“Is this normal!” He asked as he came through the door and back into our bedroom.  He was holding the front of his boxers open looking worried.  As the curtains were still drawn I couldn’t really see much but the light from the ensuite did glint off his freshly ‘mowed’ chest.  Hmmm, that looks good!
“I’m not sure, what is the problem?”
“My nuts are red raw and itch too buggery!”
Looking down I could see what he meant.  “You didn’t use the Veet all over your body, did you?”  I knew full well that he had but, LOL, welcome to being a woman!
His eyes looked up and he genuinely looked scared. “Yes, shouldn’t I have?”
“I did tell you to read the instructions.  Veet is effectively paint stripper you know.”  I laughed at this point, though perhaps I shouldn’t have as Hubby would be in A&E if I didn’t put an end to this quickly.  “Just keep putting on baby lotion and you will be fine.”
“But, what if…”
“Enough!  Do as I say and you will be fine.”  I was surprised by the steel in my own voice.  Honestly, I am a very sympathetic person but, recently, I have found that I drop into character very easily.
“Yes Mistress, sorry, I didn’t mean to question you.”
“Once you are done, wash you hands and I think a cup of tea would be really nice.”  And off he went.  My brain was still in ‘Mistress’ mode so whilst Hubby was in the kitchen, I planned how his next gift would be delivered.  This would take subtlety, I want to keep the humiliation building up but I am not ready to share what we have with friends, certainly whilst the children are too young to understand.  Plus, with Hubby, gradual build up always drives him crazy!
After breakfast, I laid out Hubby’s suit and a short-sleeved shirt.  “Why this shirt dear?  It’s still a little cold for short sleeves?”
“Yes, and more so now that your shaggy body hair is gone.”  I grinned.
At this point his predicament started to dawn in his mind.  “But people will see!”
“But what do I say, how do I explain why there is no hair on my arms?”
“Tell them…tell them that you wife has decided to take control of your image.”
“What, I’ll sound like I’m hen pecked or something.”
“Aren’t you?  This is what you have asked from me, no?”
He nodded, head down.  “People will laugh.” 
“No, they won’t, not the woman anyway.  They will be thinking how beautiful your skin looks and thinking about either their own or whether they can get their husbands or partners to ‘man-scape’.”  I said this firmly but also with a hint of lust in my voice.  The latter wasn’t wasted on Hubby, he could see that I liked him this way and that I was also buying into his need to feel feminine.
Midday I sent him a text from work “How is your day going my smooth slave?”
“There have been a few questions, some of the guys laughed, one actually said that he ‘scaped himself.  The women asked how I did it and most said that I looked better for it.  This attention has been difficult for me, you know that I’m an introvert.  However, it is making me feel so…good.  Thank you, Mistress, I love you!”
That evening, after the children had gone to bed and we had cuddled watching a trashy mini-series, I led Hubby up-stairs.  “Sit here my beautiful slave, I have a second gift for you.”
I studied his face, getting a clear image in my mind of what I wanted.  “Now, this will cause some pain, very little pleasure but you will love the outcome.”
“What are you going to do?  I’m not sure that I want makeup on Mistress.”
“No, and nor do I.  I am going to reduce those bushy mounds above your eyes into something more pleasing.”
“Oh, ok.”  The quietness of his voice is always an indication that something deep inside was pleased but his social conditioning was concerned.
It was actually quite fun to pluck away.  Watching him wince is always good and this was a lot less effort than using a cane or crop.  Thinking on it, I should have made him undress but, hey-ho, hindsight and all that.  I was pleased with the end result, not too feminine and his freshly sculpted eyebrows framed his piercing blue eyes well.
“What do you think.”
Instantly he answered “I really like them Mistress.”  Then, without pausing he scooped me up in his arms and dumped me on the bed.  My god, he was as horny as hell!  Should I uncage him, this could be amazing?  Nope, no time for that, it would appear, and certainly penetration was a long way from his mind as he roughly removed my clothes and buried his face into all of my crevices!  Bloody-hell, Subby has become adept with his hands and mouth!  I completely lost sense of time and had to bury my face in the pillow so as not to wake anyone!
“You have pleased me slave.  But I am exhausted and need to sleep.  Go to the spare room and sleep there.”
With a look of shock, Subby left the room.  I didn’t give it a second thought as I was asleep in moments.
It is only day 2 but this valentine is proving to be the best in our history!  There might be high expectations for Day 3 but, perhaps a step back is necessary instead.
Kind regards,
Mistress Dominique xxx

General Chat / Re: New to being a keyholder
« on: February 18, 2022, 05:29:43 PM »
Hello Chastikey et al,
I entitle this story as “7 gifts of Valentines - Part 1”
Hubby and I feel privileged.  Yes, we work very long hours, have had many knock backs over the years and have had to work as a team to get everything that we have.  Do we want more?  Yes!  Not material things, what we want is a deep, dark, red and a passionate life.  For the last two years we have been getting there, exploring chastity and everything that goes with that.  Material items pale into insignificance when you have chastity in your lives.
For the most recent valentines, we wanted to avoid the commercial motivation and instead move towards the darker aspects of our desires and just use the date as a focus.  We agreed that the 14th would just be a date in the middle of a fortnight of fun, pain and discipline.  True to tradition, “Ladies go first” and since Subby is the biggest lady in our relationship, he started the fortnight.
Hubby tried his best, a dozen beautiful roses on Valentines-7, chocolates V-6, lingerie and so forth.  I will admit, he has good taste and the heels he bought me on Valentine’s day were particularly sexy, extenuating my ankles and firm calves.  They also feel amazing!  Subby’s reward each evening was whether he had permission to pleasure me, would have to watch me pleasure myself or was cuffed to a horrid wooden stool, only able to hear me.  The stool is something that I found in a skip whilst we were out walking and clearly has had a tough existence: one of the legs is unstable, the seat is missing a strip of wood so uncomfortable on a bare bum and the lack of a backrest makes access to his bare back, complete.
“Subby, do you like the lingerie that you bought me.” I asked whilst he was balancing on the stool and I hovered behind him.  “Yes, Mistress and they look amazing on you!”
“Hmmm, but who are they really for, my slave?”  I whispered this into his ear and quietly backed away.  God, the panties felt amazing and the bra gave me a cleavage that I did not know I owned!  I don’t normally get very excited by lingerie, too much a ‘sterotype’ sort of thing imposed on women by society.  Give me PJs and no bra any day of the week!
“Sorry Mistress, I don’t understand?”  Perfect answer! Swish, crack and yelp!  The cane left a red welt across his shoulders.  I waited for the pain to sink in, realisation to dawn on his mind and then 3 more swings, the last two across the bulge of his bum resting on the stool.  He nearly fell over at this point but recovered just in time.
“Who was this lingerie set really for, slut!”
“Honestly Mistress, I have not worn them!”
“Oh, I know.  Your slovenly body wouldn’t squeeze into them.”  I hissed with mirth.  “No, but think, who is getting the most satisfaction from me wearing them, you or me?” 
“Oh, sorry Mistress, me.”
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!” And each affirmation was followed with a swing of the cane.  His back was glowing and Subby was panting.  As I moved around him, leaning over so that he got an eyeful of my beautifully cupped breasts, I could see that he had tears in his eyes.  Did I feel guilty?  Of cause not, the little slut had pre-come dribbling from his cock and was getting off on this as much as I was.
“So, you have once again thought of yourself first.  When are you going to learn that your thoughts should be about serving me and not what makes you feel horny?”
“Oh shut up!” Grabbing a gag, I silenced him.  Satisfied that the cock shaped mouthpiece would both mean he was humiliated and was unable to do anything other than gurgle.
What I did then, in front of him and completely oblivious of whether he could see or not drove him mad.  Panting, I looked up as my body was starting to come down from an incredible high and could see that he was hard and desperate to break his bonds.
“You are still enjoying this!  Spread your legs!”  I picked up the crop, which is never far away these days.  Stroking his groin, it only made him harder and I could see the tension in his eyes.  Three hard hits across his circumcised cock caused to deflating end to that.  This ‘treatment’ was new to him and he was clearly shocked.  “I am going to shower, stay here.”  Not that he could go anywhere, he-he.
When I returned, his manhood had shrunken down to a pathetic stump.  Wrapped in a dressing gown I pulled on a pair of marigolds.  “You look pathetic and I don’t even want to touch that lump of flesh with my bare hands.”  The pre-come was useful now as I pushed his junk through the ring of his cage and locked him up.
I removed the gag, admiring the red marks that it had left across his cheeks and neck.  “I acknowledge that you have worked hard to please me for the last 7 days, and even though the lingerie was born out of a selfish act, they clearly show that your feminine side is being trained well. Tomorrow I will start to reward you.  Remember, what I do for you will solely be focussed on what you need slut and are not for me, do you understand?”
“Yes Mistress, thank you Mistress.  I am here to serve you!”
“Yes, you are.”
The next day I was with Hubby again.  We both love the openness of our relationship after a ‘session’ as there is no sexual tension, just companionship.  Though we had to work, the breakfast and evening were cuddles and chats.
“Ok dear, it is shower time.  Would you like to go first?  I have put a towel out for you.”  My eyes made it clear to him that this was a non-negotiable. 
What Hubby found was a fresh towel wrapped around a new razor, a bottle of Veet and a note which read “From your neck down, all hair must go.  If you want to wear woman’s clothing then you are going to feel like one.  It is your turn to know what it takes to appease social conformity and expectations.”
I personally hate the smell of Veet but the benefits are superior to a razor and certainly last longer.  Hopefully my Subby read the instructions with the Veet and uses the razor on key areas of his body, because if he doesn’t, it won’t just be hair that he removes!
I am pleased to say that the result was excellent.  Seeing him stood naked, totally void of hair, other than for a few hard to reach places, was wonderful.  I’m not a fan of a ‘manly and hairy chest’. Hubby is/was and certainly looked embarrassed as I inspected him, razor in hand rectifying patches that he had missed.
“Photo time”
“What! Mistress please?” 
“Hahaha!  This is only day one of my gifts.  You do like it though?  Feel it, this is much better, don’t you agree?”
As he stroked his body, I could see that he had mixed feelings, one of joy and another of shame.  How was he going to keep this hidden?  What if somebody asks questions when he goes to the gym?  Well, that is his problem!
Mistress Dominique xxx

General Chat / Re: Why do men like to be caged; to help a wife understand?
« on: February 18, 2022, 02:49:28 PM »
Hello KHs et al,
I would like your advice regarding punishment and how to heighten the experiences of my cross-dressing Subby.
I have become resigned to the fact that wearing woman's clothing is a fundamental need of his and,  to be honest,  is making his dedication to me more intense. Naturally I haven't let him know my resigned acceptance and only reward his servitude when it is necessary/effective. My questions are:
1. Should I continue to point out my distaste of his cross-dressing?  I don't want him to feel guilty or to develop a self-esteem complex
2. Forcing him to wear woman's clothes clearly isn't a punishment.  How do I incorporate discipline into our play by using cross-dressing?
3. How do I stop him becoming desensitised about the joy he gets from wearing lingerie if he is wearing it more and more often to control his 'itch'?  I ask because he has been uncaged for 2 weeks: I removed it because I wanted to and he wasn't getting anything from it (the oppositesin fact). He still has not cheated yet (trust me,  I know) but is still serving me like a caged puppy
Please give me you views and exhorting so that I can kick-start  our play into a new direction.
Kind regards
Mistress D xxx

General Chat / Re: New to being a keyholder
« on: January 30, 2022, 10:49:52 AM »
Hello Odslutpuppy,

So good to hear from you and, if I have not already done so, 'Happy New Year'! 

Yes, you are certainly meaner than me, but that is what I love about you.  That said, I will take on board your points when I next go away: it will keep Subby on his toes to be treated harshly without explanation or rewards.  Poor soul:-)

Regarding "...that conversation"  in one sense i would love to have my bestie in the know, but as much as I love her, she is not very discreet, certainly when the gin is out.  It would be fun as she already gives Hubby a hard time about everything as it is, but once that box is open there is no going back.  Still, things change and who knows what will happen in the future.  I certainly find myself treating Hubby differently and instinctively so.  Observant people have probably already guessed.  It would be fun to know whether there are any other husbands being trained but I suspect not.

I hope you enjoy the gag in the second instalment of my girly weekend away as I am quite proud of my inventiveness.

Stay safe,

Mistress D xxx

General Chat / Re: New to being a keyholder
« on: January 30, 2022, 10:48:53 AM »
Hello Chastikey et al,
I entitle this story as “A ladies weekend end away, a sissy’s weekend in servitude Part 2.”
I have been home a week from my girly jaunt and thinking back over the last week, I still can’t stop smirking or giggling at the thoughts and photos.  “Photos?” you might be asking, well read on and let your imagination run wild😉
Picture me on my hotel bed, just putting my phone down having sent Hubby my “Arrived safely” message.  I had a grin on my face as any minute now Subby was going to see a very disappointing gift on his pillow.
Whilst Hubby was checking the fluids in my car, I was going through his clothes pulling out all of his socks, pants and t-shirts to hide them away.  No, I wasn’t planning for him to go commando for the weekend, he-he, no, something much better than that.  The day before my trip, I had gone to clothes shop famous for providing attire for the more elderly lady.  There I found the most awful pop-socks, pants that would warm your armpits and polyester tops that would generate enough static electricity to power a small town😉  As some of you will know, I have a hang-up about Hubby’s cross dressing and so, thought that a comical picture of him in unflattering underwear would dispel other images that I had already started to create.  It certainly helps, I can tell you!  Poor man, should I feel guilty?
On Hubby’s pillow were the instructions: “Hello Slave, enjoy your weekend.  Below are a list of tasks that you need to complete before I return.  Do them well and I will have a nice surprise for you.  Do them poorly and your junk will be caged for so long they might just shrivel up and fall off!”  I then listed just enough jobs, such as cleaning, food shop and other chores that bore the hell out of me, that would fill his time and prevent him from getting distracted.  “Finally, you will notice that some of your clothes are missing and have been replaced with something else more suiting to a cross-dressing sissy such as yourself!  I will send you other instructions when I can be bothered to.  Remember, have your phone near you, do NOT keep me waiting.  Mistress Dominque”
I picked up my phone and texted: “Hello Sissy.  Describe to me how the new clothes feel.  Send me a photo but I do not want to see your snivelling face!”
10 minutes later he replied “Hello Mistress.  The clothes are baggy but fit.  The top is sweaty and the socks keep falling down.”  The photo, which was attached, looked like something from a 60s brochure: he looked ridiculous! Perfect!
“Why did this take you so long?  10mins!  Reply within 1 in future.”
“Sorry Mistress.  I was cleaning the toilet and couldn’t get the marigolds off fast enough.”  Now picture that image. Ha-ha-ha 😊
After this, and a bit of cruel smirking on my part, my girlfriends and I went to the spar.  After much giggling and chatting about life in general, I returned to my room, got dressed for lunch and met them in the bar.  Chatting about what we would do with the afternoon, shopping without annoying husbands in tow at the top of the list, prompted me to send a picture of a very sexy lingerie set to my Subby with the message of “What are your thoughts about these?  And be honest.”
The reply was suitably quick and read “They are beautiful but not really your style or colour Mistress.  Your beautiful skin is much better suited to dark lace or silk.” Hmmm, not what I was expecting but he was right, the set would not suit me.  Damn, the man might actually have a good eye for clothing…at least female clothing anyway!
Later, I sent a series of pictures showing stockings.  The reply was fast once again, subby is obviously training well😉  I even put a picture of a man wearing stockings to near his reaction.  His reply to this was most interesting of all.  “Sorry Mistress, I don’t know how to answer this one.  I don’t like seeing cross dressed men as they look silly.” What?!
The next photo obviously was a great choice, as he replied: “Mistress, this is teasing me too much.  Please stop!” and I swear there was a groan there.  Obviously, I didn’t stop.  Over the rest of the weekend, I sent a whole array of photos and by the end had a good idea of what his style was and a few good ideas of what he could get me for valentines and birthday too!
I had a wonderfully relaxing weekend and on the last day bought Subby a gift that I had spotted in a small boutique.  When I returned home the house was spotless, Subby was waiting at the door to collect my bags and there was a delicious smelling roast coming from the kitchen.  I nodded my approval and could see him relax with that.  Yep, definitely trained.
Later that evening, and after the children had gone to bed, I instructed Subby take me through his weekend, step by step.  It appeared that he had covered his clothing with baggy layers, to hide his ‘undergarments’.  Unfortunately for him, he got rather hot from all the chores I had set him and the polyester vest didn’t help.  Shame😉
“Well dear, you have pleased me.  I have put a tote bag on the bed, get it for me and I will reward your servitude.”  Hubby almost ran up the stairs and promptly returned with the bag.  He found me on the sofa with his key in hand.  “Now sit down. And close your eyes.”
I deposited onto his hands, black satin pyjamas.  The short sleeved top and shorts had an ivory edging and I knew, from the text conversations, this would be perfect for his feminine taste.  “Without opening your eyes, tell me what you think.”  I whispered to him.
“It is light and smooth.  I love the texture.”  He said, lightly gliding his hands over the fabric and even put it to his lips.”  Interesting, he really is in for the whole tactile experience.  The way he inspected the clothing was not dissimilar to how he gets me aroused. 
“You may now open your eyes.”  Clearly, he loved what he saw.  “Now, you may wear these to sleep in but not in front of me, do you understand?” 
“Yes mistress”
“Now, I am tired and need to sleep.  You can use the spare room.  I will now unlock you.”  The next thing was very surprising.
“If it pleases Mistress, I would like to remain locked.”
“Yes? As you like.”  I was not expecting this.  Hubby is a very complex person!
The next day Hubby was so relaxed and affectionate.  In fact, the rest of the week was filled with surprise flowers, early returns from work and very high levels of attentiveness.  I will have to go away more often!
Yours, and definitely pleased with myself,
Mistress Dominique xxx

General Chat / Re: New to being a keyholder
« on: January 23, 2022, 12:53:56 PM »
Hello Chastikey et al,
I entitle this story as “A ladies weekend end away, a sissy’s weekend in servitude.”
As I write this, I am snuggled up in bed with a cup of tea.  After a night of dancing and singing, my feet are pleasingly tired and my voice slightly husky, perhaps even a bit sexy too😉 I am in no rush to use either so am taking this time to write a posting for you.
I recently asked you, the readers, for your views, via a poll, on what I should do with Subby whilst I am away on a ladies break from the demands of needy husbands, oh, and kids.  The latter are a very distant second to husbands, who are just big kids but are way more capable with getting themselves into trouble. Men!  Anyway, I am sad to say that the poll didn’t throw up any suggestions and therefore I was left to make the decision: this is proving to be much tougher on Hubby that perhaps it would have been with your help, he-he.  I hope you enjoy the story.
I made my own decision which was option 1: “Leave him caged and explain that he will be given a treat upon my return, provided he doesn't cheat.” Subby knew that I had posted the poll and this is how Friday ended:
“Right then darling, I am packed and ready to go, have you checked my car?”
“Yes beautiful, all fluids and so forth.” He paused and I could see that he wanted to ask something but was worried about my response.
“Yes, what do you need to ask?”
“Well, I have tried really hard this month, I was wondering whether I would be allowed to be uncaged?”
“You know that I asked the Readers for their views?” A worried nod and just a little more fear in his eyes.  “Well, the votes are in and I have taken them into consideration.  Of cause, you understand that I will make the final decision, don’t you?” Again, another nod. “Do you understand!”
“Yes Mistress.  Please, be kind Mistress, what is the decision?”  Now frustration and fear: what word describes that best...?
“Before I tell you, know that this decision is only because you have been so honest and attentive this month.  It will be very rewarding for you.”  A rapid nod and now excitement from the innocent puppy dog.  I was loving this: a weekend away and total domination of my husband, sooooo sweet! 😊  “You will remain caged but…”
“What! But Mistress, you said…please, I am so horny I am about to explode! I…”
“Do not interrupt!” I said sternly, cutting him off mid-sentence.  “I said that the decision would be rewarding, and when you let me finish, you will understand why.”  Shoulders slumped and resignation setting in, I had his attention again.  “You will remain caged for the weekend and provided you can keep your hands off your junk, including your prostate, then you will have an amazing treat when I return.”
Now pouting, “What will that be?”
“You will have to trust me on that but I promise that you will like it…as long as you follow the rules.  Oh, and that other thing, keep your hands off my clothes!  I have put something on your pillow.  You may wear that and any of your clothers”  As I said this I took my car keys from his hand and started playing with a particular key: this attention to detail did not escape Subby.  “Right, I am leaving now.  My bags?”
With a resigned intake of breath, Subby kissed me on the cheek and followed me to the car with my bags, which he carefully put into the boot.  “I will be in touch when I arrive.  I will also be sending you something so check your phone regularly.  Do you understand?”
“Yes Mistress.  Safe journey and I look forward to hearing from you.  I will be good, I promise.”
“Oh, I know that.  Otherwise it is a second month in metal.”  My smile was like honey.
My journey was uneventful.  After picking up my bestie, we chatted non-stop.  Mostly she was moaning about her husband and what state her house would be in when she returned.  “How do you stop your husband from destroying your house!”
“Oh, you know, training, lots and lots of training.”  Both of us laughed at that one.  If only she knew what she was missing out on but how on earth would that conversation happen?
Upon my arrival and when I was settled into my room with a glass of prosecco by my side, I sent my first text of the weekend.
“Hello darling, arrived safe.  Lots of chat about husbands along the way (that would get him thinking).  Did you see the list of rules and tasks on your pillow?  Are you wearing the clothes?  Send me your views and rating: 5 is high.”  I bet he was gulping at this point.  I am sure that he was very aware of his cage too!
He-he…more to follow upon my return this evening. 😊
Yours, and feeling slightly smug,
Mistress Dominique xxx

Happy new year and we hope that 2022 is wonderful, be it free or caged, for one and all!
With love,
Mistress Dominique and Subby xxx

General Chat / Re: Why do men like to be caged; to help a wife understand?
« on: December 29, 2021, 05:25:28 PM »
Hello odslutpuppy,
Yes, Christmas has been wonderful with lots of family time though new year is always a bit of a damper for us: "What else will mankind do to screw things up".  If only mankind could be caged and put into submission eh? ;-)
Thank you for sharing your views on the matter of 'contracts'.  Hearing a different perspective on the matter definitely helps me to think about this less judgementally or with concern.
Your comment about "Leaving the control to another with no responsibility..." certainly resonates with Hubby's character type.  I have seen him with a group of new people, frozen with what to say, until he is invited into the conversation and then you can't shut him up!  In terms of our relationship, he works so hard with 'making the right decision' to please me, he ends up annoying the heck out of me:-(  Perhaps when he is in subordinate character, then judgement is only of 'Subby' and not Hubby.  Interesting.
Men are not supposed to be so complicated, rumour is, women have the monopoly of that! ;-)
And "Shhhhhhh" about a "good one here", I don't want Subby getting too full of himself.  Mind you, an opportunity to discipline that out of him could be fun, he-he.
On the matter of discipliner, we have just returned from a couple of days away from home and children, so I have a fun story to share on that.  Up until we had gone away, Hubby was approaching day 28 of being caged, the  longest for him so far, and he presumed that the trip away might see some kind of reprise.  Well, following the sharing of the 'contract' with me, Subby got exactly what he asked for.  Stealing your legend "Be careful what you wish just may get it and not in the way you expected."  More to follow once I've got over a stinking cold.
Take care  odslutpuppy and I wish you the very best for 2022!
Mistress D xx

General Chat / Re: Why do men like to be caged; to help a wife understand?
« on: December 21, 2021, 06:27:12 PM »
Dear Subs, KHs and Dommes,
I am interested in whether any of you have written down the boundaries of your servitude as a sub or limits as KH/Domme?  Or perhaps you have a verbal ‘contract’ of what you will and won’t do?
I ask because, after a very intense session with Subby working so hard to fulfil my needs, I asked him what he gets from all of this since he is caged and can’t relieve himself?  Hubby is a very deep thinker and found it hard to explain verbally why he likes his role of servitude so much.
The following day I had a very detailed email from Hubby which laid out what he got from chastity, what he was hoping to do for me and also a list of requests.  It is very typical of him to do this type of writing for his job but it feels a little ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ and odd when it is addressed to me.  I suppose I am worried that he is viewing me differently from being his wife to now his Domme.  Or am I over thinking this?
Clearly Hubby has laid his desires out for me, which is honest and I did ask for he chastity reasons.  It is worth noting that Hubby has also made it very clear that there is no pressure on me to comply with his requests.  I still feel very new to this new development in our relationship at times.  I hope that some of you could explain whether it is normal to write a ‘contract’ or should I be worried that he is taking things too seriously?
Kind regards,
Mistress Dominique xx

General Chat / Re: Why do men like to be caged; to help a wife understand?
« on: December 17, 2021, 11:06:32 AM »
Hello bdsm,

Thank you for your thoughts, as always I now have a valuable and different perspective about the points I mentioned.

I suppose my greatest problem with the cross-dressing was being lied to and the secrecy that Hubby had with it.  Understandable, he was scared, but relationships are based on trust.  Your suggestions are more in the realm of 'privacy' than 'secrecy' and there isn't a great distance between tight male pants/trousers and ladies panties/stockings.

There is no rush on my part and the longer he has an 'itch' that can't be scratched, the more his frustrations might benefit to me;-) Possibly that sounds a little callous?

Regarding the ED, PIV has only occasionally been a great part of our relationship so perhaps I will take a leaf out your Mistress' book and charge up the wand!

Have a safe and wonderful Christmas,

Mistress D xx

General Chat / Re: New to being a keyholder
« on: December 17, 2021, 10:55:30 AM »
Hello odslutpuppy,

Good to hear from you.

You might well be right about the teasing and spanking!  Perhaps I will point that out to Subby the next time that I am tanning his backside and add an extra set in for good measure;-)

Thank you regarding the two sites.  I believe that you have recommended Collar N Cuffs before and I did find that one quite interesting, certainly in terms of getting ideas from their their  story section.  I will investigate the other to see whether it is a good fit for us.

We're both on winter vacation so there will be plenty of time for new adventures, and postings.  Subby has also booked us a couple of nights away again so I will certainly need to get prepared for 48 hours of fun, pampering...and pain;-)

Have a safe and wonderful Christmas,

kind regards,

Mistress D xx

General Chat / Re: Why do men like to be caged; to help a wife understand?
« on: December 15, 2021, 09:28:03 AM »
Hello to all the wonderful people on Chastikey,
I am starting this posting with an acknowledgement to the beautiful members that have shared their thoughts and helped me to understand my Hubby, and also myself.
When I started this chat, the purpose was for me to understand why my hubby felt the need to have his junk locked away, for me to both know that he was locked and to be his KH.  Your thoughts and views have been so helpful with this and I love that so many of you are willing to share: you have been so brave!  I find that all of your comments enable me to think more broadly, both about my husbands needs and also mine.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul.  XX
Two years into our journey, and over a year of your support, I find that posting our journey has a profound effect upon me.  It enables me to connect more deeply with my Hubby and his alter ego, Subby.  It also gets my creative juices flowing to create new scenarios for us to have fun in:-)  I know that Subby gets very nervous as I type on my laptop, and so he should be;-)  However, these conversations have taken our passion for one another, further than it has been for a very long time.
I am quite a straight forward person: black or white, just get on with it, no talking about it, make a decision and stick with it.  Hubby is a talker and fantasist, he gets as much pleasure from exploring thoughts and ideas as I do with the act.
This is who I am and who he is but for a relationship to grow, one has to also grow to meet the other person half way.  I am proud of the openness between me and my wonderful husband, that has come about since the bravery that he showed in revealing his chastity needs: is like breathing fresh air for the first time.  That said, the constant talking can be very annoying to me and we need to work up a balance on 'lets just do it'.
As mentioned previously, Hubby suffers from ED.  This is a massive barrier both to his confidence as a male and to me as a fulfilled woman.  Neither he nor I know to what degree of impact that ED has had on getting us to where we are now, and don't get me wrong, we are in a good place, but we both feel that there is a better place yet to come.  Fortunately we have the amazing NHS and Hubby has been lucky enough to get support from a psychosexual therapist.  We did use one nearly 20 years ago, when he first revealed to me his cross-dressing, but 'specialist' was not good at their job and instead of enabling us to understand and accept, it made Hubby feel guilty about his needs and did little to enable me to accept them or to overcome the stigma that I have towards transvestitism.  Note: I am not judgemental of TVs or any gender choices, I just find it very hard to cope with the image of my masculine Hubby in a dress; I can't imagine ever wanting to see him dressed as so.
One advantage of Hubby now talking to a professional is he doesn't feel the need to 'go around the houses' with me when he is trying to frame his thoughts.  Hopefully, and the therapist is confident about this, his issues with ED will also be resolved.  I won't deny it, I am scared about what the resolutions for him might be.  We have been together for 30 years and if he gets to a conclusion where we both discover that neither one of us can meet each others needs, then that will be devastating.  However, we both know that we have but one life and happiness has to be the goal, right?
I welcome your thoughts and experiences on the above.  I need to prepare for the emotional rollercoaster that I suspect that we have both climbed onto, though I could be straying into Hubby's domain and over thinking it!?
Kindest regards,
Mistress D xxx

General Chat / Re: New to being a keyholder
« on: December 13, 2021, 09:51:25 AM »
Hello odslutpuppy!,
So good to hear from you!  i hope that you are well?  Yes, we are both on the road to recovery: thank god, and the amazing scientists, for AstraZeneca and Pfizer!  We have both been incredibly lucky.  Apart from me getting very tired by the end of each day and Hubby says that everything tastes like plastic, we appear to have come of lightly.
Thank you for your comments on the last posting.  I really enjoyed writing this episode of our story; reliving the experience on 'paper' reminds me of how much passion we have and also gets my imagination going...poor Subby:-)  Don't be too sympathetic of the silly man, he teases me on a daily basis and encourages the kids too!  A tanned backside is the very least that he deserves;-)
As I am sure you are aware, ChastiKey now has a limited life:-(  Hubby and I have grown through the trusted members of the site and I really enjoy posting on it.  Can you recommend another similarly safe and trustworthy site which I can continue to use?  The writing I do and the feedback from the wonderful ChastiKey members, has helped in so many ways and I want to continue even after it closes.
Kindest regards,
Mistress D xxx

General Chat / Re: Why do men like to be caged; to help a wife understand?
« on: December 13, 2021, 09:37:55 AM »
Hello Devious1sworld,
Thank you for taking the time to reply.  I agree for sure with the first point.  Hubby has always had issues with ED and so 'love making', if it can be called that, was always focussing upon him getting hard, staying hard and coming.  Fine if you are making babies, not much fun if you are looking for intimacy.  And, of cause, once the deed was done, his interest in me would stop and I was the one left being frustrated.  Can you believe that I accepted that for years!  Now his arse would be red-raw if that ever happened;-)
I am glad that you have found the benefits of being caged, in terms of pleasing your partner first and, possibly, only pleasing them.  Without doubt, since my Hubby has followed the path of chastity he is way more relaxed in bed, is able to concentrate of fulfilling me and, most importantly, we have learned to communicate.  The latter started with me telling him how to be more attentive, which was very weird as, when not in work, telling people what I want is not my default by any level of interpretation.  Therefore I have also grown as a person, both in confidence but also laying bare my feelings and needs.  That takes a tremendous level of trust and I can imagine that people early on into a relationship or about to reveal that they want to experiment with chastity, will find that threatening and risky.  For Hubby and me, it has cemented our marriage and I know that my darling husband listens far more deeply to me.
For him, it has been a kind of 'coming out of the closet' experience, if only to me.  For years I was convinced that he was gay and when he revealed to me some years ago that he cross dressed, well I felt lied to and betrayed.  Now that he is so often caged, his honesty and sharing of desires come out without hesitation.  As Subby put it: "Being caged, I have nothing to hide".  Some of his desires are very alien to me, some I had never heard of and others have been incredibly rewarding for both of us.  We chose the conversation answers of "Never", "Not yet" and "Ok, lets give it a go".  This has removed any ambiguity and false hopes.  Knowing where we both stand helps to get to the pleasure points much faster.
We think chastity has been the best thing to have happened in our relationship and, unlike other things we have tried, it hasn't teetered off or shown any signs of getting boring.  Hubby is very creative and so keeping his brain activated is the key to a passionate relationship.  I'm more vanilla which certainly helps as he can't use his caged manhood and instead uses other parts of his body to maximum effect; plus these parts don't go limp as things get interesting;-)
Whilst he is caged, and usually from a week in, his brain is flooded with hormones and he is like having a teenager again.  Bloody exhausting sometimes but then telling him "No, not tonight" only frustrates him and heightens the experience for him so, a win-win I suppose.  I had not realised how impish I could be and learning to so 'no', which usually results in sad puppy-dog eyes, is so funny.  Clearly, learning to be a Domme is also teaching me things about myself too :-)
Thank you Devious1sworld for responding and getting my brain thinking again.  As with the other wonderful readers that have shared their thoughts, each comment makes me understand just a little better Why Do Men Like to be Caged.  In addition to this is the big bonus of, I get new stimulus on how to tease my poor Hubby just that little more.  For example, you have reminded me of 'spoiled orgasms' and that this is something that he is well overdue to receive.  He-he;-)
Thank you darling,
Mistress Dominique xxx

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