Hello Devious1sworld,
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I agree for sure with the first point. Hubby has always had issues with ED and so 'love making', if it can be called that, was always focussing upon him getting hard, staying hard and coming. Fine if you are making babies, not much fun if you are looking for intimacy. And, of cause, once the deed was done, his interest in me would stop and I was the one left being frustrated. Can you believe that I accepted that for years! Now his arse would be red-raw if that ever happened;-)
I am glad that you have found the benefits of being caged, in terms of pleasing your partner first and, possibly, only pleasing them. Without doubt, since my Hubby has followed the path of chastity he is way more relaxed in bed, is able to concentrate of fulfilling me and, most importantly, we have learned to communicate. The latter started with me telling him how to be more attentive, which was very weird as, when not in work, telling people what I want is not my default by any level of interpretation. Therefore I have also grown as a person, both in confidence but also laying bare my feelings and needs. That takes a tremendous level of trust and I can imagine that people early on into a relationship or about to reveal that they want to experiment with chastity, will find that threatening and risky. For Hubby and me, it has cemented our marriage and I know that my darling husband listens far more deeply to me.
For him, it has been a kind of 'coming out of the closet' experience, if only to me. For years I was convinced that he was gay and when he revealed to me some years ago that he cross dressed, well I felt lied to and betrayed. Now that he is so often caged, his honesty and sharing of desires come out without hesitation. As Subby put it: "Being caged, I have nothing to hide". Some of his desires are very alien to me, some I had never heard of and others have been incredibly rewarding for both of us. We chose the conversation answers of "Never", "Not yet" and "Ok, lets give it a go". This has removed any ambiguity and false hopes. Knowing where we both stand helps to get to the pleasure points much faster.
We think chastity has been the best thing to have happened in our relationship and, unlike other things we have tried, it hasn't teetered off or shown any signs of getting boring. Hubby is very creative and so keeping his brain activated is the key to a passionate relationship. I'm more vanilla which certainly helps as he can't use his caged manhood and instead uses other parts of his body to maximum effect; plus these parts don't go limp as things get interesting;-)
Whilst he is caged, and usually from a week in, his brain is flooded with hormones and he is like having a teenager again. Bloody exhausting sometimes but then telling him "No, not tonight" only frustrates him and heightens the experience for him so, a win-win I suppose. I had not realised how impish I could be and learning to so 'no', which usually results in sad puppy-dog eyes, is so funny. Clearly, learning to be a Domme is also teaching me things about myself too :-)
Thank you Devious1sworld for responding and getting my brain thinking again. As with the other wonderful readers that have shared their thoughts, each comment makes me understand just a little better Why Do Men Like to be Caged. In addition to this is the big bonus of, I get new stimulus on how to tease my poor Hubby just that little more. For example, you have reminded me of 'spoiled orgasms' and that this is something that he is well overdue to receive. He-he;-)
Thank you darling,
Mistress Dominique xxx