I strongly agree with Vincent E.
My hubby started off with self-chastity and used a locker for the key. This helped him in the early stages to 'itch' some of his needs and also to get experience with ChastiKey locks. He is very good with the fantasy in his own head and was able to convince himself that he had a cruel Domme, only too willing to extend his chastity at a click of a button. However, Hubby also gets bored easily and soon wanted more.
We are very open with each other, Hubby has certainly learned how to discuss his needs since the enforced isolation brought about by Lockdown. When he did pluck up the courage to share with me his deepest needs and I began to take the role of his keyholder and then Domme, he found that the ChastiKey locks and self-chastity were too light on his emotions. In his words "Sometimes I haven't got the energy to include you in the whole chastity role play and so ChastiKey is like a 'quickie' in the bathroom."
I get this and am happy for him to fulfil his own needs...sometimes. Especially as he becomes more amorous towards me and things usually end in my favour;-)
So, what I am saying is: if you are the KH, enjoy it but be safe, both on your emotions and the physical aspect. I can imagine that for some it is a darker experience and as long as nobody is hurt, sub, KH or others on the periphery, then if it floats their boat, go for it. If you are not comfortable, discuss the situation and set the boundaries; these discussions are fun and fulfilling too!
Being the KH takes energy and imagination, if you are adding in the Domme dimension, even more so. For us it is a partnership and unless we are both 'feeling it', Mistress Dominique and Subby are put away in their suitcase until we are both ready. If we are feeling it, then wow, fun time!
Just remember: be safe and don’t get lost in the fantasy. Getting advice from the amazing people on ChastiKey, has been invaluable to me and Subby.
Mistress D xxx